The Body Swap Experience
by enigma-kar
Summary: An alien artifact results in the body swap of all in the team. Chaos, hilarity and possible jealously ensues.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I own none of the characters mentioned below or in any further chapters. They are all property of RTD and the BBC.

_This idea came to me after watching the Red Dwarf episode 'Body Swap'. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but I'm worried that future chapters will get confusing due to the different character's minds in other character's bodies. :S_

_Anyway, I hope you like this, please let me know if it's worth continuing, reviews are always encouraging. :D Thank you and Enjoy!_

* * *

Chapter One

Owen was late, as per usual.

This morning, however was slightly different. There was no Ianto waiting with a freshly brewed cup of coffee for him. No Tosh smiling a hello at him. No Gwen demanding he actually wear something decent to her wedding. No Jack telling him to perform an autopsy on some alien, which had been brought in during the night.

Instead everyone was gathered around a plain looking and probably alien artefact on Tosh's desk. Owen rolled his eyes. "Is it too hard to ask for a cup of coffee this morning, Ianto?" he asked, walking towards them after throwing his jacket over the back of a chair.

"Of course not, Owen." Ianto said pulling a freshly made cup of coffee seemingly out of nowhere.

Owen mumbled his thanks, trying to hide his surprise at the steaming mug he just received. (How did Ianto do that?) He then turned this attention to the object they were all so fascinated with. It was small and round with various sized holes decorating the side. There was also an alien inscription around one of the larger holes.

"What is it?" Owen asked.

"No idea." Tosh replied. "The scans cannot detect it as something we have encountered before and the translator is having trouble interpreting the language. The only thing we know is that it's hollow inside and there is a sort of invisible egg like shell around it, just under the harder metal shell. It must be keeping something in."

"Do we know what it does?" Owen asked, sighing; the object in front of him was the most boring thing he'd seen all year. This was a waste of time.

"Not sure." Gwen replied this time.

"Is it dangerous?"

"Can't be sure." Jack said reaching out and picking it up. "When Tosh's translation program finishes we can be surer about what it does. The writing may tell us something important."

"So we know nothing about it?" Owen said just to confirm.

"Well, we know that it's round with holes in it." Ianto said earning an eye roll from the medic.

"I think it's just a fancy holder for chopsticks." Gwen said, heading back to her work station.

"Chopsticks?" Ianto's look was incredulous. "What kind of alien has a holder for chopsticks that looks like that?" he pointed to the sphere, "What kind of person has a holder for chopsticks that looks like that?"

"Well I think it's a bizarre incense holder." Tosh said in reply, smiling at Gwen.

Ianto just shook his head.

"Where did you find it?" Owen asked Jack, once Tosh and Gwen had moved off, back to their workstations.

"That old church. St. Mary's. The one where I found the second resurrection glove." he nodded towards Owen in recognition, "There was a whole heap of alien stuff there. Though, believe it or not, this was the most interesting. All the other stuff we've seen before."

Owen nodded and headed down to the autopsy room; casting away any further thought about the holey sphere and turning his attention to the alien corpse which had been laid out and ready to be dissected.

"Do you want me to archive this?" Ianto asked Jack.

"Yeah. There's some documents on Gwen's desk that need to be done too." he smiled in thanks and winked before heading up to his office.

Ianto blushed slightly before gathering the holey sphere and the documents up and heading down to the archives. And he would have got there, too, if he hadn't tripped on Owen's jacket, which had fallen off the chair and onto the floor.

Ianto cried out in surprise, slipped and stumbled; reaching out for something to keep his balance. The documents flew out of his hand and the metal sphere slipped from his grasp, falling to the floor where it shattered.

Jack had barely made it to his office, when Ianto's yell of surprise startled him into turning around. He turned just in time to see the pale blue gas rise up from the fragmented pieces of the sphere.

"Code Red!" he yelled, slapping the emergency button on the wall, locking the place down. As he did, Gwen, Tosh, Owen and even Ianto managed to reach gas masks, located underneath all the work stations, and put them on. Not before they had all breathed in the rapidly spreading and unknown gas, however.

Only seconds after fitting the gas masks, every one suddenly collapsed; having fallen unconscious. Jack yelled and ran back down to check on everyone, ignoring the possible toxins emitted in the gas.

"Ianto?" he bent down to check his pulse and was thankful it was still there. Before Jack had time to check on the others, the gas became too much and it eventually knocked him out too.

The emergency sirens continued to sound, completely ignored and unheard; no one was awake to hear.

All five members of Torchwood 3 lay unconscious on the Hub floor, all having inhaled an alien, unknown gas.

A gas nobody knew anything about.

As the sirens faded a small beep came from Tosh's work station. The translator program had finished and the words of the translated alien inscriptions flashed up on the screen.

The Body Swap Experience. (Made in Chinolilia)


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two:

Tosh was the first to wake up and knew instantly something was wrong.

She could hear the beeping, marking the completion of the translation program, but made no effort to get up. She felt huge and it required maximum effort to sit up. Something was definitely wrong.

She was taller, more solidly built and wearing a suit.

"Oh my god!" she cried out, hearing a man's voice instead of her own. Hearing Ianto's voice. _I'm a man! God...so many different parts._ She resisted the temptation to explore her newly discovered 'parts' and looked over as Owen's concerned voice sounded across the hub.

"Ianto?" He said, followed by a "What the..?" The medic stood up and looked straight at Tosh trapped in Ianto's body.

"What's going on?" Gwen's body said grumpily, adding to the growing confusion and chaos. "What is…? Oh my god."

"Huh?" Jack and Tosh's bodies sat up simultaneously.

"Oh god!"

"Ianto? Is that you?"

"No, I'm Ianto!"

"No wait…"

"What going on?"

"Gwen?"

"Oh my god! I'm a woman."

"No way."

Knowing it had worked once before and would work again, Gwen who was trapped in a body which was certainly not her own, ran over to the light switch; stumbling as she got accustomed to her smaller build.. She flicked it off and the Hub plunged into darkness.

Everybody fell silent and Gwen turned them back on again. "Ok." She said, hearing Tosh's voice in place of her own. "Everyone just stay calm. We need to work out what is going on. Arguing isn't going to help."

Ianto's head nodded meekly. "So we've had our bodies swapped." He stated the obvious. Or rather whoever was trapped in Ianto's body stated the obvious. "We need to know who is who, ok."

Jack's body raised its hand. "Well, I may look like Jack, but I'm Ianto."

Ianto's body had taken out a notebook and wrote this down. "And I'm not Ianto. I'm Tosh."

It was Tosh's body's turn, "I'm Gwen."

Everyone turned to look at Gwen's body and groaned, knowing exactly who was in there.

"Owen Harper!" Gwen, using Tosh's voice, yelled. "You get your hands off my breasts now!" She found it quite disconcerting yelling at what looked like herself. But knowing Owen was in there, she continued. "If you touch my body in anyway, I will give you a matching bullet hole in your chest!"

"Ok, ok!" And he quickly removed his hands, as Gwen's mind moulded Tosh's face into a death stare. "I was just getting used to them. Who knows how long we'll be like this."

Everyone continued to glare at him, not kindly, until he broke the silence. "Anyway," he began still feeling slightly uncomfortable, "I guess that means that Jack is in my body, yeah?"

Owen looked across the room at his own body and saw his head nod in confirmation. "God this is to weird." he muttered, hearing Gwen's Welsh accent. "Oh great. I've even got her accent, too." he rolled his eyes.

"Owen." he heard his own voice say in warning.

"Right." Tosh said, using Ianto's own Welsh voice. "We need to work out what that thing was. Thankfully the power cut didn't affect the translation program. I just need to reboot the computer and we can find out what was written on it."

She attempted to walk over to her computer, but stumbled; Ianto's body was going to take a bit of getting used to. She finally made it, the others following her slowly, but surely.

Tosh rebooted the computer and opened the translation program, her fingers moving not as quickly across the keyboard.

The words "The Body Swap Experience. (Made in Chinolilia)" flashed up on the screen.

"What the...?" Owen said, still annoyed at his new Welsh accent.

"Well that explains a lot." Ianto commented, knowing it sounded weird.

"What the hell is Chinolilia?" Gwen said; Tosh's face turning into a frown.

"A kind of out of space China." Jack said from Owen's body. "They make lots of novelty things, which are shipping all across the universe."

"Right. Just another day at Torchwood, then." Owen said, trying hard not to look down at his newly acquired breasts. "I'm guessing this 'Body Swap Experience' is just another novelty thing?"

"Yup." Jack replied. "Only problem is, we have no idea how long it will last, or if it will even wear off."

"You mean we could be stuck like this?" Gwen said, glancing over at her own body.

Jack formed Owen's mouth into a grimace. "I don't know. I think we may need to get another opinion on this situation."

Everyone nodded.

"In the meantime," Jack continued, "I suggest we make plans regarding everyone's privacy."

Everyone nodded again.

"Oh, except you, Ianto," Jack said turning to face his own body and winking. "You don't need to bother, I can trust you. Plus you know what I'm like under the coat." he waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"God help me." Owen muttered, "That is one expression I never want to see on my face, again!"

* * *

_A/N - Just to clarify, because I know that this concept can be hard to follow._

_- Gwen's mind is in Tosh's body_

_- Tosh's mind is in Ianto's body_

_- Ianto's mind is in Jack's body_

_- Jack's mind is in Owen's body_

_- Owen's mind is in Gwen's body_

_If I've slipped up anywhere along the way with the above, please let me know! Thank you! and Enjoy! :D_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **Trust me, you'd know if the below characters were mine.

_Have to say, that this isn't the best chapter, but the whole privacy thing was something that just couldn't be ignored. I hope you like it anyway. Thanks to all who have been reviewing. It means a lot! Enjoy..._

* * *

Chapter Three:

"Alright, as I said before," Jack began, after a few moments of uncomfortable silence, "I know this is going to be hard for everyone. But we are all in the same situation and we are all going to need to respect each other's privacy. I don't want any disregard from anyone, ok."

"Another thing, Jack," Gwen said, nodding in the direction of her own body, "How am I going to explain this to Rhys? He's going to notice that it's not me."

"He won't." Jack said, trying to make Owen's voice sound as commanding as possible. "I'm confining you all to the Hub, until we can fix this."

"Ok." Gwen nodded Tosh's head. It seemed like a fair thing to do in the situation, "I'm still going to have to phone him, though."

"Fine." Jack nodded in reply. "But first I want to make plans for everyone's privacy."

"This is going to include showering and using the loo, isn't it?" Owen said, again trying hard not to look at Gwen's body.

"Yes it is, Gwen…I mean Owen." Jack stumbled. This was going to take a while to get accustomed to.

"Why don't we just let everyone do what they want in their new bodies and then retcon us all afterwards?" Owen suggested, turning Gwen's face into a smile.

"That is such an Owen suggestion." Gwen said, shaking Tosh's head, "And no. We are not going to do that!" she added, watching as the smile slid off her face.

"Can I just say that I trust Gwen not to abuse my body." Tosh said, forming Ianto's mouth into a friendly smile.

"Thanks, Tosh." Gwen smiled back briefly, before turning to her own body and glaring, knowing Owen was in there. "Well I don't trust you." She said.

"Obviously." Gwen heard herself say. "But what can you do about it?"

Gwen smiled; she had already thought this through. "Well if we are stuck here. Then we'll be using the bathroom facilities here."

"Your point being?"

"Well, seeing as it's my body. I'm going to have you blindfolded at all times, when showering or using the loo. And I will be doing to washing myself. There is no way I am letting you touch me. You got that?"

"Yes ma'am." Owen did a mock salute, before rolling Gwen's eyes.

"Are you sure this is really necessary?" Ianto asked, and Gwen turned around and glared at him, thinking it was Jack.

"This is Owen we are talking about, Jack" She answered.

"Ok, point taken." He replied. "Oh and I'm Ianto, remember."

Gwen put Tosh's head in her hands. "God, sorry, Ianto. I forgot."

"Don't worry. We are going to have a lot of that." He turned Jack's face into a caring smile. Something which was rarely seen. "I also want to add, that I don't mind having Tosh in my body. I know I can trust you, too." He smiled again at his body, knowing Tosh was in there.

"Why is it that everyone trusts the girls?" Owen asked.

"Because," Tosh said, frowning slightly at the sound of Ianto's voice, "We can be trusted. You cannot. It's a simple fact."

Owen rolled Gwen's eyes and folded her arms across her chest, then removed them, not wanting to cause any more arguing.

"Ok. Now that is sorted out." Jack said, uncrossing Owen's arms and placing them on his hips.

"Hold on." Owen said, turning to face his own body. "What about me?"

"It isn't fair." Ianto muttered in reply, remembering the lyrics to an old song.

Owen was about to spin around and glare at him, but decided against it, not knowing who to glare at.

"What about you anyway?" Jack said. "Your body is dead. I won't have to worry about feeding it, or making it go to the loo. Or even clean it, unless you get really dirty, on a mission."

"Oh yeah." Owen seemed to have forgotten. "I'm not dead anymore!" he turned Gwen's face into a grin. "I can eat again. I can sleep again. I can shag…"

"Don't you even think about it!" Tosh's voice echoed around the hub as Gwen yelled at him.

"I was just kidding. I promise I won't." he turned away from Tosh's glowering face.

"Right, so we are sorted now?" Jack said and everyone nodded their different heads. "Good."

"So what do we do now?" Ianto asked.

"Well I'm going to phone Rhys." Gwen said, sighing, as she grabbed her phone off her desk. "This is going to take a lot or explaining." She muttered and everyone watched Tosh's retreating figure as she left the central Hub area.

"Ok, I'm going to phone Martha. Maybe she will have some idea of what we can do." Jack announced. "And I'll need you, Ianto. Seeing as you are in my body and have my voice."

"Martha? She only just went back to New York!" Tosh pointed out.

"I know, but we need her." Jack said, shrugging.

Ianto nodded in agreement and followed what looked like Owen up the stairs to his captain's office.

"Oi, you two!" Owen said after them.

"Yes, we know. No shagging." Ianto said, sounding rather commanding using Jack's voice. "You seriously think I would shag you, Owen?"

"Hey, it's Jack in my body. Who knows what you guys will do."

"I promise I won't, ok."

"Fine." Owen said, not knowing whether to trust him or not. He watched as the two of them retreated up to Jack's office, closing the door behind them. He was about to say something to Tosh about wearing Ianto's suits when he heard Tosh voice yelling from a side room.

"And don't say bloody Torchwood, Rhys!"

Owen shook Gwen's head. God, that girl could have a temper.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four:

Jack quickly dialled Martha number and handed the phone to Ianto, who had removed Jack's giant coat.

"Try and sound like me, ok." he said, placing Owen's arms on his hips, trying to hide his displeasure at seeing himself without the coat on.

Ianto nodded and waited for Martha to pick up.

"Hello?" Martha picked up the phone.

"Martha Jones! The voice of a nightingale." Ianto said, giving it his best shot to sound as convincing as possible.

"Jack! It's so good to hear from you so soon. Been missing me have you?"

"Always."

Ianto heard Martha laugh on the other end of the phone. "So what can I do for you, Jack? You are ok, aren't you? You sound kinda different."

"Really? I must be getting a cold." Ianto coughed to prove his point before continuing, ignoring Jack as he rolled Owen's eyes, "And actually. I kinda need you back here. Something has come up and we need your help."

"Already? I expected you to last longer without me there."

Ianto gave a short laugh. "So did I, but this is rather urgent. When can be get here?"

"I don't know, Jack. I've only just got back. UNIT need me."

Ianto turned to Jack, who was frowning (A very Owen look) and covered the mouthpiece on the phone. "Just tell her, that we've all been infected by an alien product and we need her help to reverse the effects." Jack said, hoping it would work.

Ianto nodded again and repeated Jack's suggestion to Martha. Jack watched himself nod a few more times, before saying "Thanks for this." and "See you soon." then hanging up.

"Well?"

"She said she'll be here in approximately 24 hours. Depending on the earliest flight she can get."

Jack nodded Owen's head, satisfied.

It was at that moment, when Gwen burst into the office; Tosh's face looking rather flushed, but amused, "Jack, Rhys just reminded me of something and..." she paused to let out a short giggle, "we are going to have a problem."

* * * * *

"That time of the month?" Owen said incredulously and sat down heavily in the nearest chair in the boardroom. "This has to be the worst. Death, I can cope with, but this!" he lifted Gwen's head up to look at everyone gathered around him. They were clearly trying very hard not to laugh.

"Look, Owen," Ianto said, having turned Jack's mouth into a grin. "Menstruating is a normal part of every woman's life. And seeing as you're a woman..." he trained off, smothering another laugh.

Owen turned Gwen's face into a death stare and glared at them all. "Not helping." he sighed in defeat before talking again. "So how long have I got until I...start?"

Everyone slowly turned to Gwen. Slowly, because they had forgotten which body Gwen was actually in.

"Do you mind?" she asked; Tosh's face not looking happy. "It's bad enough having to discuss my menstrual cycle with Owen, let alone everyone else." she paused, giving each of them a pointed look. "Don't you guys have something else you can be doing?"

Jack nodded Owen's head. "Course." he muttered. "Everyone out!" he added, louder for everyone to hear, ushering them towards the door. Tosh stayed behind for a few moments and placed Ianto's hand on her own shoulder in support for Gwen. "Let me know if you need any help." she said, smiling.

"Thanks Tosh." Gwen said returning the smile, before turning back to her own body.

Tosh smiled again and walked out of the door, closing it behind her. Not before she heard Gwen comment. "Ok, Owen. Time for your lesson: Menstruation for idiots." And Owen groaned.

* * * * *

"Ok, let's bring up the CCTV in the boardroom." Jack said, tapping Owen's fingers across the keyboard.

"You know, that is something Owen would suggest." Ianto commented, "I think being in his body is rubbing off on you."

"Come on. Don't tell me you don't want to see this. I mean seriously." Jack replied, grinning.

Tosh rolled Ianto's eyes, but also gave a smile and Ianto gave in. "Well. This is Owen, who is in the body of a woman, learning about menstruation, leading up to that time of the month. Who am I kidding! I can use this as blackmail for the rest of my life!" He fixed an evil grin on Jack's face.

Jack replied by bringing up the footage on the computer screen and the three of them gathered around to watch.

"_Look Gwen, I'm a doctor. I already know about the female menstrual cycle. You don't need to explain it," He paused, "in detail!"_

Tosh let out a snigger.

"_Ok. So you know the medical side of it. But you won't know anything about the woman side of it."_

_Owen shook Gwen's head, slowly, knowing what was coming._

"_Ok. Well this." She paused and pulled her handbag up onto the table and pulled out a tampon._

"_Is a tampon. I know." Finished Owen. "God, I can't be in a tampon conversation. This is just so wrong!" He added, muttering._

The three gathered around the computer, laughed.

"Oh, this is going to keep me amused for years!" Tosh said, wiping tears of mirth from Ianto's eyes.

They were so busy, that they didn't notice Tosh's figure leave the boardroom on the screen.

"OI! You three!" Tosh's voice made them all jump, before slowly turning around, guilty looks on their faces.

"I suggest you close that down right now!" she yelled, clearly not impressed.

Jack did so immediately. "Sorry." He muttered bowing his head.

"Good!" Gwen said before storming back into the boardroom.

Tosh and Ianto turned towards Jack when she was safely behind closed doors again.

"Please tell me you hit the record button on that software?" Ianto asked. "Footage like that is too priceless!"

Jack turned Owen's face into another evil grin. "Oh yes!"

* * *

A/N:_ I'm not sure how the CCTV footage software works, but lets just all pretent that the record function exists. :) Hope you enjoyed. _


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **I do not own...unless boxset's count (?)

_Sorry, it took a while to post the next chapter. Been busy with Christmas shopping, plus my copy of Almost Perfect arrived (finally!) so I've been reading that as well. :D_

_Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all who read! :)_

_Enjoy._

* * *

Chapter Five:

An hour later Owen emerged from the boardroom; obviously suffering from knowing too much information. Gwen's face said it all.

Gwen followed him, her arms crossed over Tosh's chest. She's gone from being amused in Jack's office to plain angry.

"Have fun?" Jack said, turning Owen's face into a smirk. A look which did not look out of place on the medic's face.

Neither Owen nor Gwen answered, causing Tosh, Ianto and Jack to giggle quietly to themselves.

This was going to be interesting.

* * * * *

It was close to 9.00 pm when Gwen snapped her mobile shut and wandered back over to where everyone was either seated on the couch, or standing beside it.

"So what's the plan?" Ianto asked, to ever was listening.

"Well we can't leave the Hub." Gwen said, sounding rather annoyed with that fact.

"So we're stuck here all night." Tosh added, also sounding slightly upset.

"God, this is starting to sound like a sleep over." Owen huffed, and rolled Gwen's eyes.

"Well, kids." Jack began, "If the rift stays quiet tonight, then that's what it'll be."

"Great." Ianto said, deadpanned. "Sounds like I'll be the one to set up the beds."

"I'll help." Tosh said, and Ianto smiled in thanks in the direction of his own body.

"Do we have any DVD's to watch?" Gwen asked.

"Yeah, I have a few stashed away." Owen said, rather typically.

"Great." Gwen replied sarcastically.

Owen rolled Gwen's eyes at her, causing Gwen to groan.

"I might have some." Jack put in.

"You? Jack Harkness? Still wearing a WW2 military coat guy?" Owen said, incredulous.

"Don't sound so surprised. I've been here a very long time and have seen my fair share of movies."

"God help us. His collection is probably worse than mine." Owen muttered.

"I heard that!"

"Just ignore him."

While the others bickered, Tosh and Ianto were setting up the mattresses.

"Are you sure Jack won't need one?" Tosh asked.

"Well he has his own bed underneath his office." Ianto replied. "And please don't ask how I know that. I've already had that conversation with Gwen."

Tosh giggled, but nodded in agreement.

"So, how are you coping in my body?" he questioned Tosh.

Tosh looked up at him and widened Ianto's eyes. "Fine, really." She said.

"Are you sure?"

"Completely." She turned his face into a small smile. "I just want to know why you trust me with it. I mean Gwen…" she paused and looked over at where the others were, as if checking they weren't eavesdropping.

"Tosh, you are my best friend here. I can trust you with something as important as my entire body." He turned Jack's face into what he hoped looked like a reassuring smile.

"But, aren't you worried that I'll…oh I don't know…" she drifted off and turned her attention back to the bed she was making.

"Tosh?" Ianto questioned, but didn't press her.

After a few moments she spoke, Ianto's voice a mere whisper. "Aren't you worried that I'll…abuse it?"

"Abuse?"

"As in…uh…sexually abuse it." She wished she had longer hair in order to hide the blush creeping across Ianto's face.

"Oh, Tosh." Ianto said, reaching out a hand in support. "It's hard for all of us and I know that the sensation of being in a new body, especially a male body can be… tempting. But I stand by what I said before. I trust you. I know you wouldn't purposely do anything like that to my body. You're higher than that."

Tosh smiled fondly, "Thank you, Ianto."

Ianto smiled back. "Anytime, Tosh. And just watch out for Jack. You know what he can be like, particularly now you are the one in my body. He might forget, you know, especially if he hasn't had… it in a while."

"I'm sure he won't forget." Tosh said, now smiling mischievously.

Ianto raised one of Jack's eyebrows in question.

"Let's just say that if he makes any moves on me, I'll just remind him that I'm really a girl inside your body."

Ianto nodded, thinking back to Gwen talking tampons with Owen.

"Come on," he said after a few moments of silence, "These beds won't make themselves."

* * * * * *

Ianto glanced briefly at Jack's watch (11.34 pm) then turned his attention back to the movie, Evolution. It was actually Jack's DVD which seemed to surprise everyone besides Ianto. Besides all of Owen's DVDs were either porn or episodes of Pokémon. ("I was a huge fan when I was a kid, alright!" he had said.)

"_Let's Shampoo some Aliens!" _

"Imagine saving the world with bottles of shampoo." Tosh laughed.

"Anything's possible with Torchwood." Jack replied with a smile.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: **Still not mine and probably never will be...still, one can only hope. :)

_Ok, i've got a slightly longer chapter than the others in apology for the long wait on the update. Been busy with heaps of festive season stuff, rather obviously. So I hope this makes up for it. Please enjoy and review (they make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :D)_

_xx_

* * *

Chapter Six:

Owen, for once, was the first to wake up the next morning. And for once he was glad he hadn't drunk anything the night before. That must have been a first.

He groaned and looked over to where his own body and Jack's were curled up together on the couch; Ianto's mattress still made. Owen smiled slightly and debated whether to take a picture or not.

No, he decided. He didn't need a picture of what looked like himself and Jack sleeping peacefully together on the couch.

"Don't they look sweet together?" Tosh whispered, having woken up and catching Owen staring.

Owen frowned for a moment, at hearing Ianto's voice. Remembering he smiled again. "Yeah..." he sighed, his mind turning to Katie as it often did early in the morning. He then coughed, remembering where he was and added, "I hope you mean Jack and Ianto, not Jack and I." he said gruffly.

Tosh smiled slightly; a mixture of amusement and sorrow. Back when he first joined, Owen had told Tosh about Katie. How she had died and how he thought about her every morning. Tosh knew that's what he was thinking about now, even though he was trying his best to hide it.

"Yeah," she said softly, "I meant Jack and Ianto."

Owen nodded, his eyes fixed on the sleeping pair. Neither of them made any further comment for a few moments.

"Anyway," Owen said uncomfortably after their silence, and Tosh could have sworn Gwen's face was blushing, "I have to...uh...go to the bathroom."

Tosh turned Ianto's face into a small grin, which she attempted to hide. "Of course." she nodded, knowingly and watched as Gwen's body got up and headed in the direction of the bathroom facilities.

She wondered if Owen would use the ladies or the mens. It was an interesting concept, after all. A man trapped in a woman's body. Although, he'd have to use the ladies considering...

Tosh shook Ianto's head and got up off the mattress, trying her best not to wake the others. They all deserved their sleep, after everything that happened.

Despite this, Ianto woke up moments later, followed by Jack and Gwen a few minutes later.

"Good Morning all!" Jack said, turning Owen's face into a grin.

"Morning." Gwen replied, before muttering something about still being stuck in someone else's body. Thankfully Tosh didn't hear her.

"Good Morning, Jack." Ianto said in Jack's American accent. Jack smiled and, completely ignoring everything that had been said the previous day, lent down and kissed his own lips, knowing Ianto was behind them.

"HARKNESS!" Owen roared in Gwen's voice, making it clear to everyone he had returned from the bathroom.

Jack jumped a foot off the couch, clutching his chest as though his heart was about to give out. He swore. "Gwen... no, sorry...Owen," he stumbled, "I'm sorry, I just forgot, I won't do it again, really. It was just force of habit."

Sitting on her mattress, Gwen let out a little giggle. For once Jack wasn't in control and it was hilarious!

Owen turned Gwen's face into a glare. The one look, Jack was secretly scared of. "Coming from you, Jack, that means nothing."

"Really, I promise I won't."

"You?" Owen said incredulously, "Captain Jack Harkness promising not to snog anyone?"

"Yes." he said rather meekly.

Owen glared some more.

"I'll make sure he doesn't." Ianto said, earnestly.

Owen sighed and then nodded. He suddenly felt like giving in. _Must be these mood swings I've heard about... _he thought. "Yeah, ok then." he said to Ianto. "I think I can trust you to keep your lips off mine."

Ianto turned Jack's face into a smile. "I don't think I'll have much trouble. The idea of kissing you is repulsive."

"The feeling's mutual, mate." Owen said, twisting Gwen's glare into a smile.

* * * * *

Two hours later, everyone was dressed and had eaten breakfast. The majority of the two hours had been spent choosing which clothes everyone would wear. Tosh was quite happy to dress Ianto's body in his usual suit, Jack however flatly refused to wear the jeans and t-shirt Owen had picked out for him.

Typical Jack.

However everyone was glad that Ianto's body swap hadn't affected his cooking and coffee making skills.

Torchwood Three looked as though everyone was trained in different fields.

Ianto's body was at Tosh's desk tapping away at the key board.

Gwen's was in the autopsy room, completing the alien autopsy started the previous day.

Tosh's body was on the phone at Gwen's desk, talking to Rhys by the amount of both sighing and arguing.

Jack's body was collecting coffee cups, which everyone found amusing. Tosh even snapped a few pictures of him carrying a tray full of coffee cups.

And Owen's body was in Jack's office doing whatever it was that Jack did up there. Nobody really knew. Except maybe Ianto...

* * * * *

The day passed without hitch, of which everyone seemed glad of. The rift was silent and they all worked independently as though nothing was amiss.

At 3.43 exactly (according to Ianto's watch) Jack announced that Martha would be arriving at 4.00.

"Have you told her about what's happen?" Tosh asked, crossing Ianto's arms across his chest.

"No."

"You mean you're going to leave it a surprise?" Owen asked, raising Gwen's eyebrow.

"Yeah, well it'll be hard to explain over the phone." Ianto said, coming to Jack's defence.

"Ok, point taken. She'd never believe you." Owen replied.

"Oh, you'd be surprised. Some of the things Martha has seen, she'd believe almost anything I came out with." Jack replied, grinning Owen's usual grin, before walking away leaving everyone behind him shaking their heads in confusion.

Fifteen minutes later Martha walked through the cog doors, escorted by Tosh who was doing her best to act as much as Ianto as possible.

"Martha Jones!" Jack cried out, slinging Owen's arms around her; he caught a brief glimpse of her shocked face.

"Nice to see you, too, Owen." She said, slightly unsure of herself.

"Typical." Owen said, placing Gwen's hands on her hips, "As soon I am I out of that body, she's nice to see me!"

Martha, now out of Jack's embrace, tilted her head to the side. "What are you on about Gwen?"

"Uh…That's not Gwen." Jack said, twisting Owen's face into a grim smile.

"Of course it is, Owen. I'm not blind!"

"No really, I'm not Gwen." Owen said making an effort to make Gwen's voice sound earnest. "I'm Owen."

"What?" Martha turned to who she thought was Jack, looking hopeful.

Ianto shook his bosses head. "Sorry, it's Ianto."

She turned to Owen who had embraced her so enthusiastically. "Jack?"

He nodded.

"Oh my god! What happened?" she asked, sounding shocked.

"A unknown gas was accidentally released," Jack said as though it were obvious, "we woke up a few hours later in each others bodies."

"You've swapped bodies?" Martha said, somewhat incredulous.

"We've swapped bodies." Jack confirmed.

Martha swore.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** Unfortunetly...no

_I hope you all had a great New Years! :D _

_This chapter is to you, Lys. Yeah you know who you are, lol. It's for finally finishing all of Doctor Who and Torchwood! And liking them! And for putting up with all my excitedness at having a friend to talk to about it all. So thank you! :D _

_Enjoy_

* * *

Chapter Seven:

"Ok, start from the beginning and tell me everything." Martha said a few moments later, after her initial shock had subsided. "No…wait," she corrected herself, "Tell me who each of you are first."

They did and then Jack explained exactly what had happened.

"Any idea?" he finished; Owen's voice sounding hopeful.

"Sorry, but this Body Swap Experience is like nothing I have heard of before."

"Not even Chinolilia?" Owen asked, trying to keep the humour out of Gwen's voice.

"Sorry, but no."

Jack sighed and shook Owen's head slowly as in defeat.

"So what do we do?" Ianto asked, glancing at Jack and Martha.

"Wait until it wears off?" Tosh asked, positive as ever.

"If it wears off." Owen replied.

"Jack, what if it doesn't?" Gwen asked; Tosh's eyes wide. "I don't want to be stuck like this forever...no offence, Tosh." she gestured to her body.

Tosh waved her away. "None take."

"I don't know, Gwen." Jack replied, bowing Owen's head, "I really don't know."

"Come on, you guys." Martha said, cheerily, "It's not the end of the world, quit moping and stop worrying. We'll find out how to fix this."

They all smiled grimly, the expression not reaching their eyes.

* * * * *

That night after Ianto had cooked them up a storm, and everyone else had all settled down to watch another one of Jack's movies (There was little else to do), Martha cornered the Captain.

"Martha?" Jack asked, tilting Owen's head to the side.

"Jack, I have an idea." She nodded in the direction of the boardroom and gestured for him to follow her.

"Ok, I'm open to all ideas." Jack began once they were out of earshot of the others.

"Look, I was thinking." Martha said.

"Always a good start," Jack cut her off, earning himself a mock glare.

"Neither of us knows how to fix this, right."

"Yeah, well spotted." he said sarcastically.

"Jack, please just listen. I want to fix this too, but getting angry is not going to help."

"Sorry..." he drifted off, running Owen's hand through Owen's hair.

Martha frowned at Jack; worry in her brown eyes. She knew better than to poke him about it, but still couldn't help feeling concerned for him. Martha made a mental note to ask Ianto.

"So your idea is..." Jack started talking again.

"Well, seeing as none of us know what to do," she paused for effect. "I think it's time we called in an expert."

Jack, surprised, raised his head to look at her. "You mean..."

Martha nodded. "We should call the Doctor."

Jack seemed to think about this for a few moments, before breaking Owen's face into a grin. "Brilliant, Martha Jones!" he said, gesturing for her to make the call immediately.

"Ok, ok." she said, also grinning. "Hold your horses."

Being Jack, he winked in reply.

Then, a quiet voice from the door nearly made Martha drop her phone.

"You mean we'll actually get to meet the Doctor?" Jack heard his own voice echo around the now silent room and knew it was Ianto speaking.

Martha cleared to throat and looked at Jack who turned to look at his four teammates gathered at the boardroom door.

"Yes." Jack said, smiling slightly. "The Doctor is the only one who can fix this."

"Are you sure he can?" Tosh asked.

"He couldn't fix you." Owen pointed out.

"I'm much more complicated than this. This body swap business will be a cinch in comparison." Jack replied evenly and Owen coughed.

There was a short, but uncomfortable silence before Martha muttered that she would phone the Doctor now and left the boardroom. Jack nodded, trying hard to avoid the stare he knew Ianto was giving him.

"I'll phone Rhys." Gwen said, rather quietly, "He'll want to be kept updated." She too left the room.

Tosh muttered something incoherent and walked out of the door way, coming back a few second later for Owen, who clearly hadn't taken the hint.

Ianto and Jack were alone.

"Ianto, I..." Jack started. He had a feeling what this was going to be about. He'd left them for the Doctor before and he knew what the sense of abandonment had done to Ianto.

"Jack, just promise me you won't leave again." Ianto whispered, confirming Jack's guesses.

"Oh, Yan...Of course I won't. He'll just be here to fix the problem, that's all."

"But he'll ask you to come with him again." Ianto countered and Jack had to hide the shock at how he knew that.

"He always will, but while you're here, I won't be going anywhere." Jack replied earnestly after regaining his composure.

Ianto blinked a few time more than was strictly necessary, before smiling. "Promise?"

"I promise." Jack replied, smiling in reply, slightly glad that Ianto could be convinced so easily. _He doesn't deserve my trust. He probably doesn't even deserve me. Still, I have no right to push him away..._ "Oh and please don't get jealous." he added keeping his thoughts out of his expressions, a trick he had mastered long ago. He saw a blush creep over his own face in front of him and smiled.

"Promise." Ianto agreed and automatically leaned forward for Jack's kiss.

"OI!" Gwen's voice boomed over the loudspeaker system and Jack and Ianto sprung apart like rabbits caught in headlights. "HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?"

Jack and Ianto laughed, shaking their heads at the ridiculousness of the whole situation. Despite Owen's warning they grasped hands and headed back out into the central Hub. At the same moment, Martha appeared from a side room.

"He'll be here in the morning."


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** One word...No.

_This is my Birthday post! :) Yay for me! I seriously must have no life if I'm uploading chapters on my own birthday. *shakes head* That is so sad._

_Anyways, this is just a short little snippit of what is happening in the TARDIS. I'm posting the next chapter at the same time, so you can go straight on and read that after this. Please enjoy and don't hesitate to review! :)_

* * *

Chapter Eight:

_Meanwhile…in the TARDIS_

Donna Noble entered the console room, still in her PJ's and was greeted to the sound of jazz music.

"What the hell is this?" she demanded of the Doctor who was dancing at light speed around the console.

"Music!" the Doctor replied, grinning manically.

Donna screwed her nose up distastefully; it clearly wasn't her type of music. The Doctor frowned at her.

"Why? What's wrong with Glen Miller? I remembered how to dance to this song, ages back. I was a different man back then. We all had so much fun…" he trailed off and looked slightly distant for a few seconds.

"Doctor?"

"Yup?" he came out of his trance and grinned again.

Donna rolled her eyes. How did the man have so much energy? "Why are you so happy and where are we going?"

"Catch up with Martha again and another old friend of mine."

Donna grinned, "Really?"

"Yup." He popped the p, as he always did and ran around the other side of the console to turn a dial. "Seems they need my help with something. Martha mentioned a body swapping device which they can't reverse. It's causing chaos apparently."

"Uh huh… So who's this other friend of yours?" Donna asked, taking a seat on the captain's chair, well out of the way of the Doctor.

"Captain Jack Harkness."

"Oooh, a Captain, aye." She smiled, rather mischievously.

"No, don't start that. Really, just….don't."

Donna pouted. "Fine."

"So when are we going to arrive?" Donna asked a few moments later.

"Oh, half an hour." He replied casually.

Donna yelped.

"What?" The Doctor appeared wide eyed from behind the centre of the console. "Donna?"

She yelped again, before getting up and running off into the depths of the TARDIS.

"Only half and hour to get ready!" she twisted her head and shouted back in the direction of the Doctor. "It'll never be enough time!"

The Doctor smiled to himself and put the TARDIS into orbit around Earth in order to wait for Donna to get ready. He was sure Martha, Jack and his team would be able to cope for a little while longer without him.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine:

"When did you say he was going to get here?" Owen asked checking the watch on Gwen's wrist.

"He just said he'd be there in the morning." Martha replied collapsing into the beaten up Torchwood sofa.

"And you did give him the right date?" Gwen asked; Tosh's voice sounding nervous.

"Of course she did." Jack answered, "And stop worrying. I know you're all desperate to get back into your own bodies and you will. But, I keep telling you, once the Doctor is here, he'll be able to fix it, ok."

Owen and Gwen both nodded in agreement, although the looks on their faces once Jack had turned away told a different story.

* * * * *

At approximately 11.30 am, the sound of the TARDIS materializing echoed around the Hub. Martha and Jack immediately looked at each other and without any regard for the other, ran out the cog door and up to greet him.

"Jack?" Gwen shouted.

"Is that him?" Ianto asked, placing his almost ever present serving tray down.

"Where is that sound coming from?" Owen asked, coming up the stairs from the autopsy room, only stumbling once in Gwen's shoes.

"Oh my god…" The sound of Ianto's voice trailed away and Tosh sat heavily down at her work station.

"Tosh?" Owen looked over at Ianto's figure slumped in Tosh's chair; a worried expression on Gwen's face.

"He's forgotten he's still in Owen's body, hasn't he." Gwen sighed, shaking Tosh's head.

"Don't worry," Ianto answered, "Martha is with him, I'm sure she'll be able to explain."

"If you say so." Gwen replied.

"Ok, well, Jack and Martha ran outside, so the sound must be coming from there" Ianto said tapping into the CCTV image.

"There!" Gwen said, pointing at the blue police box on the screen.

"Tosh? What is it, darlin'?" Owen asked, kneeling down beside her.

"That noise." She lifted Ianto's head up to look at him. "I've heard it before. In London."

"When were you in London?"

"Ages ago, just after you joined. Jack wanted to check out the whole 'first contact' thing. He needed a medic, but you were hung-over and unreachable. So I went instead."

Owen nodded, remembering. Remembering how mad Jack had been. He was vaguely aware of Ianto and Gwen joining him beside Tosh to listen.

"I met a strange man that day, investigating that space pig. He was there one second and then disappeared. I heard that noise after he left."

"It must have been the Doctor." Ianto said, in wonderment.

"You've met the Doctor, then." Owen said.

Gwen opened Tosh's mouth to reply, but was interrupted by a voice behind her.

"What was that about me?"

They all spun around, before immediately trying hard not to look surprised or shocked. Jack chuckled slightly. Tosh inwardly frowned. This wasn't the Doctor she had met. Maybe she hadn't met the Doctor after all. Maybe it was someone else at time in London.

"Guys, I'd like you to meet the Doctor and his companion Donna Noble." Jack said, gesturing to them in turn.

Owen, Tosh and Gwen murmured their hellos and Ianto gave a small wave. The Doctor waved cheerily back and Donna smiled. They were both acting as though nothing were amiss. As though the body swap had never happened and as if Jack was standing beside him looking his usual self.

"Well, it's a big place you've got here, Jack. Good to finally see it." He shoved his hands into his coat pocket and gazed around. Ianto couldn't help noticing that his coat styling reminded him of Jack's.

"So, Doctor. I'd introduce you to my team, but as we're all in each other's bodies. It may be a bit confusing."

"I don't have a Timelord's brain for nothing." The Doctor replied, looking at Jack. Donna beside him rolled his eyes and Martha who saw it, laughed.

"I managed to grasp the fact that you're inside that body, after all."

"Ok," Jack replied, leading the Doctor and Donna over to the rest of his team. "This is Dr. Owen Harper, our medic and he's in Gwen's body as you can probably see. I'm currently in his body, hence the clothes I'm wearing."

The Doctor nodded in greeting and smiled. "Pleasure to meet you, Owen."

"Likewise." Owen muttered, nodding in reply.

"Gwen Cooper. Police liaison and newest member. Jack introduced. "She's in Tosh's body."

Once again the Doctor nodded in greeting. "Nice to meet you, Gwen." Gwen simply nodded in reply and the Doctor had a strange feeling that he had met her before. Although that was impossible… surely…

"Toshiko Sato," Jack moved on, "our resident computer techie and all round genius." Tosh felt Ianto's face turn red. "She's stuck in Ianto's body at the moment. And I don't mean to say that as a bad thing." Jack added, winking, causing both the Doctor and Martha to groan.

"Some things never change, aye." Martha muttered.

"Nice to see you again, Dr. Sato." The Doctor acknowledged, emphasizing the 'again'.

"Again?" Jack asked, clearly surprised.

"Again?" Tosh asked. "But…"

"Oh, I've changed a bit since I saw you last." The Doctor reassured her. "But it was me, that time in London with the Space Pig. Aliens faking aliens, right?"

"Yeah." And Ianto's mouth turned into a smile.

"Hold on…London?" Jack started, but was shushed by the Doctor.

"Story for another time, Jack. Or maybe you could just ask Toshiko later." Jack opened his mouth to argue. "Later!" the Doctor reinforced. "You haven't finished introducing me, yet."

Jack sighed, and attempted to block out the sound of Owen smirking. "And lastly," he said, "This is Ianto Jones. He's been fortunate enough to be trapped in my body."

"I'd say unfortunate." Ianto replied evenly to the Doctor. "Trust me, sir; Jack's body is nothing to brag about." He smiled impishly and Donna let out a laugh.

"I'm sure it isn't" the Doctor replied, grinning at both Ianto's comment and the expression on Jack's face… which was actually Owen's face, "And it's just Doctor, not sir."

Ianto nodded and offered Jack's hand in greeting. The Doctor took it, "Wonderful to meet you, Ianto Jones."

"And you, Doctor." Ianto replied. He could now see why Jack took such a liking to this man. He was sure they'd get along swimmingly.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** Nothing belongs to me...except The Body Swap Experience and Chinolilia. :D

_Ok, this chapter is completely bonkers...well I think so anyway. I hope you enjoy. And thank you to all the reviews so far! You're all so kind and just generally fantastic! :)_

* * *

Chapter Ten:

"I know I've said it before," Donna muttered to the Doctor as they followed the others to the boardroom for discussion, "But, really why does it always have to be the good looking ones."

"Sorry?" The Doctor was oblivious and out of it, as always in situations like this.

"Jack and Ianto!" she whispered back. She would have nodded pointedly at the pair, but had already forgotten which bodies they were in.

"Oh." the Doctor said, tugging on his earlobe, "Well, I don't think you should worry."

"Why? Is he bi?" Donna asked, her voice hopeful. "Jack, I mean."

"What?" he replied, shocked, "Ah, well," he regained his composure, "Jack's more..." he paused to think of the correct word, "Pansexual...omnisexual..."

"Omnisexual?" Donna's eyes widened.

"I'll explain later." he muttered, as they came through the boardroom door.

"Right..." Donna trailed off and sat beside the Doctor at one end of the large table.

Ianto handed around coffees a moment later and the discussion of the situation began.

"So, what's the plan, Doc?" Jack asked, placing Owen's hands on the table.

"Come on, Jack," the Doctor sipped his coffee, "Ooh, nice coffee, Ianto. Just what I needed, thank you!" he smiled at the body of Jack, deciding not to admit he actually preferred tea.

Donna rolled her eyes and shook her head. How was it possible for him to remember everyone?

"Sorry, where was I?" the Doctor turned back to Jack, "Oh yes, that's right. As I recall, Jack, you're plans were always the best. Why are you asking me?"

Jack nodded, in agreement. "I'm asking you, because you're better at this alien stuff that I am."

Tosh, Gwen, Owen and Ianto all gasped in shock. They'd never met anyone, as yet, who could get Jack to admit to something like that, let along admit anything. Ianto was considering taking down notes. Getting Jack to admit something could prove a handy skill...

The Doctor smiled. "Right, well if I'm going to be on any help, you'll have to tell me exactly what happened."

Donna and the Doctor sat back and listened for about 5 minutes as all four members of Torchwood, Jack and Martha explain what had happened and how.

"And then Martha suggested we call you, so we did, and here we are." Jack finished.

The Doctor nodded, thoughtfully.

"So is there any chance you can reverse it?" Gwen asked, desperately.

"Not sure."

"Do you know if this Chinolilia place makes something to put us back in our own bodies?" Owen asked.

"I can't remember," the Doctor admitted, "It's been a while since I went there. Although I may have a catalogue in the TARDIS."

"A catalogue?" Tosh exclaimed.

"Yup. Just like you get in department stores." he grinned and heard Jack chuckle, most likely at his colleagues expressions. "But it would be a bit out of date now. Do you know what year this model of the Body Swap Experience was made in?"

"Model?" Gwen mouthed to Jack, before shaking her head at the incredulousness of it.

"Uh... not sure." Ianto said, "The actual sphere was destroyed and we saw no other inscriptions on it, beside the name and place of production."

"But we didn't give a thorough looking over using microscope equipment." Tosh said, "We easily could have missed something."

"We didn't think it was of any danger, so we didn't bother." Ianto admitted.

"Why don't you just look or do a scan or whatever on the broken pieces?" Donna suggested. "You might find some more information on the pieces."

"Good idea," the Doctor agreed, looked around at the Torchwood team to see if it was possible.

Owen was shaking Gwen's head. "Nah, the sphere shattered into too small pieces. There'd be no way of reading anything."

"Oh."

"Can you get me the fragments of the sphere?" the Doctor asked.

"I put them down in the archives, yesterday," Ianto said, "But I can easily retrieve them for you."

"Good man." the Doctor nodded as the young Welshman immediately left the room to retrieve them.

When Ianto returned a few minutes later, the Doctor eagerly took the fragments and took out his sonic screwdriver to examine them.

"Hmm," he muttered to himself; the blue light from the screwdriver flashing around the room. "Definitely Chinolilian and not a copy, which is good. Material looks like..." he paused and licked the largest of the pieces and shuddered. "Ok, material definitely copper based. Could be traces of..."

"Try not to listen too carefully," Donna recommended to the Torchwood team, who were looking rather shocked at the Doctor, "Most of it's just gobbledegook."

"It's best to just nod, when he stops for breath." Martha added, smiling to herself as though enjoying an inside joke.

"Ok." Gwen said, tearing her eyes away from the Doctor who was now sniffing a large piece of the broken sphere.

They sat in silence, the Doctor muttering away as he prodded the pieces with his sonic screwdriver. Tosh reminded herself to ask him about it, if she got the chance. If not, she'd definitely ask Jack. Surely he'd know a thing or two about the sonic device the Doctor was using.

"Ah ha!" the Doctor exclaimed and Gwen nearly jumped in fright.

"The perfect symmetry of it and it's electromagnetic field level means it's a Model K52 Orb, possible the Zero Gravity version."

"You what?" Owen asked, making it clear he thought the Doctor was talking complete crap.

"Of course, these babies are usually only meant for the Body Swap of two beings. It only extended itself to all of you guys, because of the confined space you're in here. Plus if it is the Zero Gravity version, the obvious Gravity here, would have increased its power."

"So you can reverse it, then?" Jack asked, ignoring the fact that the remainder of his team had their mouths gaping open so wide you could fly a plane through the gap.

"Easily. You normally buy these in pairs. One Body Swap Experience and one Anti Body Swap, to reverse it."

"So, only the Body Swap Experience part came through the Rift?" Martha said.

"Yup. All I have to do is go and buy the Anti Body Swap, and you'll all be back to normal." the Doctor grinned around at the Torchwood team, who all struggled to quickly close their mouths.

"Thank you, Doctor." Ianto finally managed to say and the rest murmured their thanks after him.

"Anytime." the Doctor grinned cheerfully. "So, we'll be off." He and Donna stood up and lead the way over to the cog door.

"You'll come back soon?" Gwen asked.

"He has a time machine," Owen said, "He'll be back in ten seconds."

"Sure will." the Doctor replied. "See you all then, so we don't bother with long goodbyes. And don't worry, we can find our own way out." He waved cheerily goodbye and stepped through the cog door.

"Bye!" Donna said, following the Doctor. The six remaining people watched as the cog door rolled closed and the Doctor and Donna disappeared from view.

Jack sighed and at that exact moment the Rift monitor went off.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: **I now own The Torchwood Archives....but I don't think that counts... :(

_Just want to say that my knowledge of Cardiff City is not great, so I appologise for any major mistakes. Please enjoy, and don't forget to review! :D Thank you!_

* * *

Chapter Eleven:

"You have got to be bloody kidding me." Owen groaned, being his typical self.

"What is it?" Jack asked Tosh, who was the first to reach the monitor.

"Hold on? What about the Doctor?" Gwen asked, turning away from the door and following the others over the Tosh's workstation, "He said he'd be back in 10 seconds."

"You actually believe that?" Ianto said, raising his eyebrow...or rather Jack's eyebrow.

"Trust me," Martha twisting her head around to glance at Gwen, "He won't be back in 10 seconds."

"What is it?" Jack repeated, glancing over Tosh's shoulder at the screen.

Tosh ignored him for a second, as she tapped away on the keyboard. "Weevils." She muttered.

"Ah ha!" Owen exclaimed. "Finally a stroke of luck."

"Great." Ianto said sarcastically, shaking Jack's head, "More gloating, brought to you by the King of the Weevils."

"I wouldn't be so sure, Owen." Tosh paused and turned to look at the shape of Gwen standing behind her. "You're in a different body now."

"Tosh is right." Jack put in. "The weevils aren't going to recognise you in Gwen's body."

"Yeah, but it's not the body that mattered, it's the mind." Owen said. "They're smart enough to recognise my mind and thoughts."

"I'm not sure 'smart' is the word I'd use to describe a weevil." Ianto muttered, earning a glare from Owen. A look, which Ianto had to admit, did not look out of place on Gwen's face.

"Anyway, back to the problem." Gwen interrupted, before Owen could say any more.

"What are weevils doing out of the sewers anyway?" Martha asked, turning to Jack for the answer. "I didn't think they came out often."

"It must be the Doctor." Jack answered.

"You and your friends, Harkness." Owen said. "And are you going to explain that further or not?" he added, clearly not in the best of moods at this point in time.

"Ok, the Doctor uses the energy from the Rift to fuel his ship."

"The TARDIS." Ianto added in, not really surprising anyone. He did know everything after all.

"Right, and because the weevils are connected to rift activity, the process of the Doctor refuelling the TARDIS affects them." Jack continued.

"So he must have briefly refuelled during his visit." Tosh said, before turning Ianto's face into a slight frown. "But how come that doesn't show on the rift monitor? There was a blip so small, we didn't even get alerted and then it notified me of the weevils. Nothing else."

"The TARDIS has a certain type of shielding…" Jack paused. "Look, can we finished this conversation in the SUV, only last time I checked we had weevils on the loose, which need rounding up."

"Wait," Martha said, stopping everyone in their tracks. "Does everyone need to go? It's only some weevils."

"Only some weevils?" Gwen said, shaking her head. "Trust me, the one in the vaults downstairs is nothing like the ones in the sewers."

"I think it would be safer if we all went, considering the condition we're in." Jack answered. "Safety in numbers."

Martha nodded in accord before following the other down to the car park under the Millennium Stadium, via a series of tunnels.

"The SUV is set up for me." Owen said, sighing, "Which means it'll be easier if Jack drives."

"Yeah because Jack's driving style is such a great improvement from yours." Jack heard his own voice mutter, barely audible.

"Ok, everybody in." Jack commanded, getting into the driver's seat, squirming around to get into a comfortable seat. Ianto got into the passenger seat, while the remaining four got into the back seats. For once they were all glad Ianto had opted for the seven seat option.

Jack started the engine and with a quick glance to see if everyone was in, he floored the accelerator, as he always did.

The engine revved high and when Jack removed his foot from the accelerator the SUV bunny hopped forward before stalling.

The SUV filled with the sound of sniggering. "Shhh!" Jack responded angrily, quickly turning the key and restarting the car, "It's this body swap, ok. I'm not used to it."

"Don't worry, mate." Owen said, "I can understand, being in my body and all." he paused, and Jack knew he was suppressing a laugh, "But still..." he grinned widely into the rear view mirror, making sure Jack saw him.

"You...just stalled...the SUV." Gwen said between snorts of laughter.

"Come on, we have weevils to catch." Jack changing the subject, and slowly moving the SUV forward, trying not to repeat his mistake.

"Yeah and we're not going to get there if you keep going at this pace." Ianto said, "Don't worry, Jack, you're not going to stall it again." he added in a rather soothing voice which Jack hadn't realised his vocals could make.

"It's the pedal on the right." Owen said, "It's called an accelerator; you may care to use it."

"I think he knows, Owen." Ianto said, shooting a glare at him.

"Just checking." he replied.

Moments later, Jack having left the car park, they were hurtling down the main road. The stalling incident already pushed to the back of their minds.

"Ok, Tosh. Do we have co-ordinates?"

"Yes." she replied. "Take the next left and then right at the lights."

"Thank you." Jack replied, following her instructions and only managing a few jarring gear changes, which Ianto winced at.

"Pull over here." Tosh said a few minutes of silence later and Jack did, bring the SUV to a sudden halt, the brakes screeching.

The team jumped out with well practised refinement and cocked their guns. Ianto handing Jack's Webley to him, and receiving a standing issue Torchwood one in return. They were in a less populated part of town, which meant there was less likelihood of civilian deaths.

"Well, this is dreary isn't it?" Owen stated the obvious, peering down a dark alleyway, his gun outstretched in front of Gwen's body.

"Tosh?" Jack asked, and the rest of the team heard a slight nervous quiver in Owen's voice. For once, Jack Harkness sounded scared. This was not the most ideal time to be weevil hunting, considering their rather vulnerable positions.

Tosh glanced down at her PDA. "This way." she motioned for the others to follow her, down the alleyway.

They reached half way, in their standard defensive formation when five weevils seemed to spring out from nowhere.

Now they were in trouble.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: **I own not...except the The Body Swap Experience and Chinolilia, (If you want to borrow, just ask. :D)

* * *

Chapter Twelve:

The closest weevil growled inhumanly and Owen bravely took a step closer.

"Owen!" Jack hissed at the figure of Gwen in front of him.

"If you damage my body." Gwen threatened.

Owen waved a hand, gesturing for hush. Gwen shook Tosh's head and turned away, silently praying he wouldn't do anything he'd regret.

Owen held out Gwen's hand at the weevil closest to him. He physically braced himself as it lifted its head to sniff him. There was a heavy silence and everybody held their breath. The weevil in front of Owen growled deeply and he felt a shiver go though him.

Before anyone could register the movement, the weevil had leapt back and crouched down in preparation to attack. The four weevils behind it howled menacingly.

"Shit." Owen managed to say, before the closest weevil leaped at him, teeth bared. Owen was vaguely aware of his team-mate's cries as he fired off two shots in the general direction of his attacker, not really caring which weevil they hit, if any.

The gunshots spooked the weevil and it shied away from Owen, who breathed a momentary sigh of relief. He took a step back, away from the weevils and felt a rough hand on his shoulder.

"What were you thinking?" Jack whispered furiously. "You could have been killed!"

"Jack, I'm already…dead…" he trailed off, his mind suddenly clouded with thoughts of death and life. Was he still dead? He _was_ in a body that was technically alive…

"Owen!" Gwen roused him from his thoughts. And with good reason, now was not the time to be questioning life and death. He shook his head as tuned into the sound of Tosh's voice, knowing it was Gwen speaking.

"At this point in time, you are not dead! Jack is the one in your body and therefore the one that is dead. So take care of my body!" she said her last sentence as loud as possible considering the situation.

"Uh…" Ianto interrupted pointing to the more pressing problem, "Weevils."

Owen and Gwen turned back to the five weevils and joined the others in aiming their guns at them. They were just in time.

The five weevils launched themselves at them simultaneously, teethed bared and growling. Jack, with his faithful Webley in Owen's hand shot down the closest one to him and shouted at the others to pull back.

Gwen felt her back collide with SUV and realised she was out of the alleyway. She glanced sideways at her co-workers and then turned her attention back to the four remaining weevils, slowly advancing on them.

"Jack, what do we do?" Gwen asked, desperate. "Why are they acting like this?"

"You never did explain that thing about the Doctor's ship." Owen added in, his gun never wavering from the targets in front of him.

"It's a long story; we don't have time now. But I'm betting that's what's affecting them." He nodded towards the weevils and grimaced.

"So what's the plan?" Martha said, armed with only a can of weevil spray; never carrying a gun.

"Why are we not just shooting them down?" Owen demanded.

"They're too quick." Tosh answered, "You saw them before. You barely got away, last time."

"Tosh is right." Gwen agreed.

"Ok." Jack took charge hoping this would work. "On my signal, I want Martha to spray as much of that stuff as possible, hopefully that will delude them for a few seconds. It's too far off to fully knock them out. Then I want each of you to shoot. Aim for the heads or chest to ensure it's a quick death." He nodded as though satisfied with his plan. A few seconds later he shouted for Martha to spray.

The weevils went crazy, immediately limping forward with their claws outstretched; snarls on their faces.

Jack barely had a second to react. "NOW!" he shouted, hearing Owen's voice almost immediately drowned out by the sound of gunshots.

Everybody split up and each honed in on their weevil target. Then suddenly, nobody had any idea where anybody was. No idea how many weevils had been killed.

Martha had used so much of the weevil spray, a cloud of fog had formed and now visibility was low.

Ianto could hear Gwen's voice swearing somewhere to his right, and a shout of surprise in Tosh's voice, knowing it was Gwen. The sound of gunshots echoed along the alleyway, but no more came. Everyone was too frightened to shoot in case they hit somebody.

Ianto muttered a curse himself and briefly looked down at his gun in order to reload it.

The brief second was all it took and the next think Ianto knew was that he was suddenly on the ground; his gun skidding away into the darkness.

He looked up. A weevil was bending over him. Its teeth were bared and it was growling.

Jack heard his own voice scream seconds before he was showered in a spray of blood.

"IANTO!?" he shouted, instantly worried. Jack heard a groan behind him, but knew not if it were a weevil or Ianto. Before he could shout for someone to think of a way to clear the fog, he heard the SUV start up.

The car's engine was powerful enough to suck away all of the cloud and Jack could see again. But immediately wished he couldn't.

Three of the remaining four weevils were dead. The last was limping, more than usual, away from everything; it had a bullet wound in its leg. Jack swiftly took aim and put it out of it's misery before twirling around to find Ianto.

If Jack had a heart that was working, it would have been racing. He looked around, briefly locking eyes with each member of his team for confirmation that they were alright.

Tosh and Martha seemed to be fine.

Gwen was clutching Tosh's upper arm, where she had obviously been hit by a stray bullet, but was being checked out by Martha so she'd be ok. Tosh was standing beside her, Ianto's hand on her other shoulder in comfort, telling her she didn't mind her body had been shot.

Jack turned his attention to Owen as he leapt out of the SUV's driver seat, the engine now turned off. Jack nodded his thanks and Owen smiled back, for once being modest.

Ianto was nowhere to be seen.

It was only when Jack did a second scan of the area did he notice the unmistakable bulky shape of human lying underneath weevil.

"Ianto?" he ran over, gesturing for Owen to follow him. Jack pushed the dead weevil off what looked like his own body, praying he's find Ianto alive and in one piece.

There was so much blood. He couldn't tell what was human and what was weevil.

"Ianto?" he repeated, hearing Owen's voice soft and gentle.

"Jack, please," Owen said almost harshly as he dropped down beside Jack in what seemed like slow motion, "Out of the way."

Jack immediately jumped back, leaving room for Owen who was soon joined by Martha. He was dimly aware of Gwen clutching his hand and telling him it would be alright between sniffs of held back tears.

Jack closed his eyes, fearing the worst when Martha approached him. "I'm so sorry, Jack." she said; her voice was a mere whisper.

* * *

_A/N: Ok, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to kill Ianto, but for some strange reason it's just so easy to do. :S Please don't hate me.... It'll get better, I promise. :)_


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: **One word...nope. :(

_And another word...Enjoy! :)_

* * *

Chapter Thirteen:

Jack shook Owen's head numbly, not wanting to believe it. Ianto? Dead? It just wasn't possible. His body was still intact. Jack lifted his head to look at the Welshman's body, sadly remembering Tosh was inside it. Technically it was Jack's own body that was dead; Ianto was just unfortunate enough to be inside it at the time.

Unfortunate? Or was it Fortunate?

"Hold on!" Jack suddenly leapt up and half scrambled back over to his own body. "He's in my body."

"Jack…"

"No, it'll be ok. Ianto's going to be fine. He's in my body, remember." Jack was on the edge of hysteria. "I can't die. My body cannot die! It just repairs itself."

Owen, Tosh, Gwen and Martha exchanged dubious glances as Jack cradled his own body, whispering incoherently to it. Begging him to come back.

"Jack …I don't know…" Owen said as gently as he could. "We don't the full effects of this Body Swap Experience thing. Anything could happen."

"He's going to come back." Jack said adamantly, "I know he will."

Owen sighed and shook Gwen's head sadly. "C'mon guys, let clean this up." He gestured to the weevils. The other nodded slowly and began the clean up operation, leaving Jack still cradling his own body on the damp ground.

Fifteen minutes passed. It seemed everyone except Jack had accepted the fact Ianto was dead.

"We should head back," Tosh said, solemnly as though she were in a cemetery. "The Doctor may be back by now and everything can be fixed."

The others nodded and Gwen managed to coax Jack into the back seat. He refused to let go of his own body, certain he would come back to life.

"I'll drive." Owen offered, setting up the seat for Gwen's body and taking off smoothly.

The first half road trip was silent except for the rather frequent horn blaring caused by Owen's aggressive driving style.

Gwen then nodded at Martha. She gave a look which clearly said, 'You know Jack best, talk to him about it…please?' Martha nodded in reply and turned to Jack, who was gently caressing his own face.

"Jack…I…" Martha didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry, I really am…"

"There is nothing to be sorry about, Martha." Jack replied calmly, not stopping his tender stroking.

Martha took a deep breath and glanced around at the other, each of them nodding in encouragement.

"Really, Jack… I know how much he meant to…" she was interrupted by a loud gasp of breath and Jack body came back to life.

"Oh my god!" Gwen couldn't help herself.

"Is that possible?" Martha exclaimed, her eyes almost popping out of her skull.

"What is?" Owen said, turning Gwen's head to see what was going on.

"Owen, keep your eyes on the road!" Tosh reminded him, swiftly.

"Ianto?" Jack voice was a quiet, hopeful whisper.

"Jack?" Heard his own voice whisper evenly back. "What happened?"

"Oh, Yan." Jack said, Owen's voice full of emotion.

Owen coughed loudly from the front seat, interrupting whatever Jack was about to say next.

"What happened?" Ianto repeated, causing Gwen to giggle slightly at the confused look which passed across Jack's face.

"You died." Jack said truthfully and simply.

"I…but…?" Was all Ianto could manage.

"You died…" Jack repeated.

"He's not stupid, Jack." Owen muttered from the front seat.

"…But you came back," Jack continued, choosing to ignore Owen, "Because you're in my body, and my body cannot die."

"But…the weevils?" Ianto suddenly sat up suddenly and looked around wildly. Martha placed a hand on his shoulder as a way of calming him down.

"We're in the SUV." Tosh told him gently.

"And the weevils have been dealt with." Gwen added in.

"Oh…" Ianto said almost meekly, before sitting back and leaning against Jack again.

"You are so lucky." Jack said, smiling down at the Welshman he knew was in his own body.

"Jack's right." Tosh said, "It's a miracle you're still inside Jack's body and managed to survive."

"I am." Ianto replied simply, still coming to terms with everything.

"You are." Jack agreed.

Jack was about to add something further, probably soppy, Owen suspected, when the SUV stopped suddenly. They were back in the underground car park.

"Was it just me or did that trip go really quickly." Jack commented, after a steely glare at Owen for stopping so suddenly.

"It was you, Jack." Owen replied, "And it only went quick, because you only had eyes for tea-boy."

"I make coffee, not tea." Ianto muttered, correcting the medic for the umpteenth time.

"Whatever." Owen replied rolling Gwen's eyes and leaping out of the SUV.

"Just ignore him." Jack said to Ianto, offering him a helping hand to get out of the back seat.

"I think I can manage on my own." Ianto said dryly, despite feeling slightly dizzy. He managed to get out of the door and walk two paces before falling over.

Jack smiled, knowingly. "That's the coming back to life thing. It can affect you for a while."

"Nice of you to mention this before." Ianto said from the ground, shooting a mock glare in the Captain's direction.

"I did offer." Jack shrugged Owen's shoulders.

Ianto shook Jack's head and accepted Gwen and Tosh's offers to help him up, while Martha offered to hold their equipment. Ianto had to admit it was a weird sensation being helped along by what looks like yourself. It was something he hadn't gotten used to and certainly didn't want to.

The group of six slowly made their way up to the central Hub. Slowly due to Ianto's inability to walk by himself.

"There you are." Gwen mollycoddled Ianto after Martha and Tosh had placed him on Torchwood's old sofa.

"Thanks Gwen." Ianto said wryly and Gwen smiled back, clearing misunderstanding his tone of voice. Then again, it was Jack's voice he was using.

The Welshman watched as the rest of the team bustled around, cleaning up weapons and storing things back away. They were all doing his jobs. Well, except for Owen, but he hardly did his own job…

"How come when I die and come back to life nobody ever does my job?" Jack complained as Tosh handed out coffees to everyone.

"You don't really have a job, Jack." Gwen pointed out. "You just give the orders."

"And I do all your paperwork." Ianto managed to say from the couch.

"_You_ do all his paper work?" Owen said, clearly incredulous.

"We have an agreement." Jack replied, turning Owen's face into a grin. "You see, Ianto likes…"

"We don't need to know to details!" Gwen thankfully cut in, raising her hands in a stopping signal.

Jack laughed and over on the sofa Ianto grinning.

"So, how long until this Doctor bloke gets back anyway?" Owen asked, placing Gwen's hands on Gwen's hips.

"No idea." Jack and Martha said in unison before turning to each other and grinning.

"The TARDIS has been known to get it wrong." Ianto said with Jack's eyes closed, before opening them and adding, "Apparently."

"So nobody knows when he's getting back?" Owen confirmed.

"Yeah." Martha answered him, smiling a grim smile.

"Oh well that's just bloody fantastic." Owen replied sarcastically. "Just what I need, more time in this female Welsh body. It's like a dream come true."

Gwen spun around to face him, Tosh's eyes blazing and Owen instinctively took a step back. But before she could retort the sound of the TARDIS materializing echoed through the Hub.

It seemed the Doctor was back.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: **The Characters below belong not to me. I'm merely playing with them and promise to put them back when I'm done. :)

_Just letting know that I know nothing about Tesco's, mainly because I live in Australia. If you think I've got it wrong, please let me know! Thank you! Also more techonobabble (from the Doctor) in this chapter. Please Enjoy! :)_

* * *

Chapter Fourteen:

"Is he out on the Plas again?" Gwen asked, turning Tosh's body around to face Jack.

"He can't land in the Hub, can he?" Tosh said, slightly unsure of the defence programs she had designed.

"I would say he can." Owen said, hands on hips again as he watched the TARDIS materialize next to the sofa where Ianto was resting.

Ianto yelped in surprise and scrambled off the couch, still a little wobbly on his feet, but feeling much better. Despite this, Jack wasted no time in wrapping one strong arm around him to ensure he didn't fall again.

Owen ignored the brief physical contacts between the two as the doors of the TARDIS opened and out stepped the Doctor.

"Hello again!" the Doctor waved cheerily.

Everyone murmured their 'his' and 'hellos' together, trying hard to contain their joy at the Doctor return. Finally after three days of being in a different body they would hopefully be put right.

"So did you get it?" Jack asked, rather eagerly.

"What happened to you?" The Doctor interrupted, glanced around at the dirtied, dishevelled looks of everyone including Martha.

"Oh, we got into a spot of trouble with the weevils." Jack said, subconsciously gripping Ianto more tightly.

"Ah. Was that because of the TARDIS? You did mention they are affected by rift activity." the Doctor asked, frowning.

"Yeah, it was." Ianto answered quicker than anyone else, before a blush crept across Jack's face.

"Oh, I'm sorry." And the Doctor genuinely was, "I hope nobody got hurt."

Not wanting to bring up his Immortality, Jack replied quickly. "No, everyone was ok."

The Doctor looked relieved. "Anyway," Jack went on, "Did you get it?" he repeated.

"Well..." Before the Doctor could continue, Donna exited the TARDIS behind him.

"Hi Donna!" Jack said, quickly, hoping to get the subject back to the Doctor.

"Oh...Hi Jack." Donna replied, smiling slightly. A smile Jack frankly could not ignore.

"How was the trip?" Jack asked, both flirting and getting the subject back to the Anti Body Swap. God he was good.

"Bloody horrible." Donna replied brashly. And to her right, the Doctor tugged on his ear nervously. "He takes me to his planet, right, Chinophilia or whatever."

"It's Chino_lilia_." the Doctor corrected.

"Whatever." Donna replied, "He says it's this huge place where you can buy almost anything from anywhere in the universe."

"Well, I was exaggerating a tiny bit." The Doctor admitted. "But only a tiny bit."

"A tiny bit!" Donna exclaimed. "It was just like a flipping huge Tesco's! Waste of a whole planet if you ask me. I f I wanted a department store I just would have gone home. We have one just round the corner from our place in Chiswick!"

Gwen snorted in amusement.

"Anyway." The Doctor announced drawing the attention back to himself. "You'll all be glad to know that I did get an Anti Body Swap for the Body Swap Experience Model K52 Orb Zero Gravity Version."

Everyone in the room, except for Donna of course, breathed a visible sigh of relief.

"Turns out they never made a normal Model K52 anyway. I must have been thinking of the Model D52." the Doctor continued, "Still, made it easier in the long run. And cheaper."

The Torchwood team, Donna and Martha exchanged glances as everything he said went straight over their heads.

"So? Can we use it?" Gwen asked a few incredulous head shakes later.

"Yup." the Doctor nodded, pulling a small sphere similar to the pervious one out of his pocket. "Should be safe. I'll give you a running over with the sonic screwdriver afterwards just to make sure. There can be side effects."

"He means it's completely safe." Martha cut in, shaking her head slightly at the Doctor. "He jokes around a lot, so don't worry."

"No really..." the Doctor began before he was cut off by Donna's hand as it wrapped itself around his mouth.

"Well if it's possible to get side effects then I don't want to do it," Owen said; Gwen's face a frown.

"What?!" Gwen exclaimed. "We are going to do this side effects or not. I want my own body back."

Donna felt rather than heard the Doctor attempting to say something against her hand. She removed it.

"Ok, Owen wasn't it?" And Owen nodded Gwen's head in reply.

"Well Owen, the only real side effect is that the Anti Body Swap is faulty sensors."

"Faulty?" Jack said, raising Owen's eyebrows.

"Sensors?" Owen added.

"I say faulty, but they rarely are."

"What are the sensors?" Owen asked.

"They're the devices which detect who are in whose body and make sure everyone's mind get returned to their correct body." The Doctor answered.

"Ok, but faulty?" Tosh asked this time.

"These things are built very well. One was able to travel through the rift, arrive here and still work!" The Doctor said, secretly making it all up. "Besides," he continued, "Even if it is faulty the worse it can do is return you to someone else's body instead of your own. And then you can just sue and get loads of credits!" The Doctor looked positively delighted with the idea.

"Credits?" Ianto asked, no longer clinging onto Jack for support.

"A universally accepted form of money." Jack answered for him. "Only came available here in the 47th Century."

"Right, of course." Ianto replied.

"Anyway." The Doctor announced, holding up the small sphere. "I'll get Jack to smash this once Me, Donna and Martha are in the TARDIS. We don't want to confuse it."

Jack nodded and took the device off the Doctor. Then he, Martha and Donna headed over to the TARDIS, leaving the Torchwood members in the middle of the Hub.

"Hold on!" The sound of Gwen's voice echoed through the Hub and the Doctor paused in opening the TARDIS. "Do we have to do it now?"

"Yes!" Gwen answered almost immediately; Tosh's voice sounding angry. "I want my own body back!" she repeated.

"But what if..." Owen's trailed off and for once he actually sounded shy and embarrassed.

"What if what?" Gwen asked, hands now on Tosh's hips.

"I don't want to." he said, loudly.

"What?!" Gwen was furious.

"Listen." Owen said, holding Gwen's arms out in a defensive action. "You guys have bodies which are alive. You can eat and drink and shag! I can't! I don't want to go back to a body which can't."

Tosh glanced nervously between the fighting pair. She knew this was going to end in tears. She looked at Ianto, who looked back and then nodded at Tosh's unspoken request. He knew exactly what to do...

"I just want to spend some more time in a body which can still eat, still drink..." Owen continued; Gwen's voice full of passion.

"Still shag!" Gwen roared. "This is what it's really about isn't it."

"No, not especially. I just want to enjoy what I used to." Owen admitted, knowing it probably sounded silly. "A few more days? Please?"

Gwen glared at her own body, barely able to believe what she was hearing. "Twenty-four hours ago, you wanted to get out of my body, especially it being that time of the month! Now you're telling me you want to stay in it?" her tone was incredulous.

"Yes!" Owen said, Gwen's voice raising and becoming angrier like Tosh's. "And there is nothing you can do to stop me."

Before anyone could stop him, Owen raced quickly down the stairs, quickly opened the cog door and ran out, leaving it to close noisily behind him.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: **If only...

_One very long chapter ahead. Well long compared to my others. Also, this chapter is dedicated to faithful reviewer right from the very beginning, _ariannah-shadow, _who gave me idea of the Doctors reaction to hearing about Owen's... condition. I must admit the Doctor and Jack may be a little OOC in this chapter. I spent quite a while on their argument, but couldn't get it right! _

_But I hope you all enjoy anyway! :)_

* * *

Chapter Fifteen:

As soon as the sirens on the door stopped, both Tosh and Ianto whirled into action. As soon as Tosh had locked eyes with Ianto, he had known exactly what to do.

Tosh, tapped away on her computer, bringing up the CCTV footage of the Tourist Shop, knowing Owen would exit through there. Ianto, on the other hand, had brought up the back-up lockdown procedure.

"Ianto...what?" Jack began; Owen's face looking almost as stunned as everyone else's.

"NOW!" The sound of Ianto's voice echoed, as Tosh shouted, signalling for Ianto to initiate the back-up. If Jack said anything further, it was shut out by the yell.

The entire Hub blinked into darkness. Nobody moved as they waited for the generators to kick in, as they all knew they would. And as soon as the power was back, Tosh once again tapped into the CCTV footage and breathed an audible sigh of relief.

"So you did it?" Ianto asked Tosh, completely ignoring the bewildered looks of everyone else around them.

Tosh nodded, feeling slightly out of breath, despite Ianto's fitness.

"Oh good." he nodded Jack's head, clearly satisfied.

"Can one of you please tell me what you have just done?" Owen's voice spoke with an air of authority.

"We've just locked Owen in." Tosh said as though she wasn't entirely happy with it, but knew deep down it was the right thing to do. "He's trapped in one of the tunnels leading out towards the Tourist Shop. But we know he didn't make it." she gestured to the CCTV on her computer screen.

Before Jack could speak again, Ianto cut in to explain. "We couldn't have him running off in Gwen's body. We know how hot-headed Owen can be, he could have done anything!"

"Thank you!" Gwen said, smiling appreciatively between the two.

Jack nodded. "You're right." he admitted, "It was a good move."

"Not one he's going to be very happy with." Martha muttered.

No sooner were the words out of Martha's mouth, when Gwen's angry voiced sounded over the PA system.

"HARKNESS!"

"Oh, sure, blame me why don't you!" Jack muttered to himself and Ianto let out a quiet smirk.

"LET ME OUT RIGHT NOW!"

"Jack?" Tosh questioned the captain, "What do I tell him?" She had her hand on the loudspeaker, ready to talk into it.

"Let me." he said, beginning to walk over. He was then stopped by a hand on his shoulder. Jack turned around and looked into the eyes of the Doctor.

"Uh...one moment, Tosh." he said, giving a pointed nod in the Doctor's direction.

"LET ME OUT!" Gwen's voice continued to shout through-out the Hub and the sound of banging could be heard.

"Can you turn that down or off?" Ianto quickly asked Tosh, sensing that Jack and the Doctor would need some quiet.

"Sure thing, Ianto." And the yelling stopped.

"Do you want to tell me something, Jack?" the Doctor's voice was calm, but menacing.

"Do I?" Jack stalled, knowing exactly what this was about.

"Would you like to explain Dr. Harper's condition to me?" the Doctor continued in the same dangerous voice.

"It's a long story." Jack replied, not really wanting to bring up the topic of immortality.

"We have time."

"Well, to cut this long story short." Jack paused, trying to word this as simply as possible. "He's dead."

"What was that?" the Doctor feigned deafness. "He's dead? Well can you tell me why he is currently running around in someone else's body, and you are stuck in his? I'm presuming this condition has been here long before this Body Swap happened?"

"Yes." Jack said, defeated.

"Do you want to tell me how this happened?" He was now trying hard not to yell in the Captain's face.

Dreading the effect the words would have, Jack replied, Owen's voice angrier than he had planned. "I brought him back, alright!"

The Doctor took a deep breath, and glared at Jack. "How?" he asked simply.

"We have this resection glove, ok. I used it to bring him back. We had another one, but that was destroyed."

"Another one?" the Doctor roared this time. "How long have you been bringing people back to life, Jack? And I want the truth."

"Doctor..." Donna attempted to stop his arguing.

"Approximately a year and a half." Ianto muttered, knowing Jack wouldn't know the exact dates.

"A year and a half?" he sounded incredulous now. "You have been bringing people back from the dead for a year and a half!"

"Well, not the whole time." Jack said, in a hope that would make it better.

"That's not the point, and you know it Jack." The Doctor countered, sternly. "No one should have the power to bring people back. It's inhumane. It's something I'd expect Torchwood One to do!"

"I know...I just..."

"Look at Owen now. He gets to spend the rest of his life as a dead man. You have cursed him to eternal life. No you have cursed him to eternal death!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't realise..."

"Why did you do it?" The Doctor cut him off, his voice entirely irate now. He didn't even feel Donna tugging on his jacket; begging him to stop.

"Well, if you give me the chance to explain!" Jack growled before taking a deep breath. "His death was so sudden. Nobody had the chance to say goodbye. I gave them the chance, by bringing him back. I didn't realise it would bring him back forever. I'd never wish that upon anyone. You of all people should know that, Doctor."

"You shouldn't have brought him back in the first place. Human's age, Jack! You all wither and die. It happens and there is nothing you can do about it." He was mildly aware of his eyes filling with tears as he spoke a very similar speech to someone he once knew; once loved...

"I wasn't ready to give up on him!" Jack retorted, blind to the apparent pain the Doctor was in. He was still angry, despite the comforting hand on his shoulder, which he knew to be Ianto.

"Do you think I was ready to give up on everyone I lost? No, I wasn't! And there was nothing I could do about it!" The Doctor anger returned, when he realised Jack's had not diminished.

"Doctor!"

"It's easy for you! You can go off into time and space and pick up anyone you like. You can go back and visit whoever you like. It's like they were never gone for you!"

"You can come to. I've given you the option." The Doctor replied, his anger lessening slightly.

"Yes, I could." Jack admitted, his voice suddenly soft and quiet. It was a huge contrast from the shouting match a few moments ago. "But I am not going to leave behind those I love." he ended.

Ianto hand squeezed Jack's shoulder again in comfort. However Jack had Owen's eyes focused on the Doctor as a flicker of pain crossed his face. It was then that Jack knew.

"Doctor, I am so sorry." the anger had left Owen's voice only to be replaced by compassion.

"It's been almost two year's now." he said, smiling bravely, missing the brief glance between Donna and Martha.

Jack turned to smile at Ianto before walking over to embrace the Doctor in a hug. "I'm sorry." he whispered in the TimeLord's ear. "I miss her too."

"I know." The Doctor replied, pulling out of the embrace. "And I forgive you. I shouldn't have yelled at you either."

Jack nodded Owen's head. "We immortal's have to stick together." he grinned.

The Doctor gave Jack a mock quizzical look and the Captain let out a laugh. It was at that moment, that Donna knew it would all be ok.

"Not meaning to break this up." Tosh interrupted quietly. "But..." she gestured to the loudspeaker microphone.

"I have an idea." Gwen spoke, before anyone else could.

"Gwen?" Jack questioned her, turning around to look at her in Tosh's body.

"Trust me, Jack." she said, "And could you please get inside your box?' she nodded towards the Doctor, Donna and Martha.

Jack nodded at them to do so and once they were safely inside, Tosh handed the microphone to Gwen.

"Owen?" Tosh heard her own voice sound throughout the Hub.

"What the fuck do you want?" was the rude reply.

"To compromise." Gwen responded.

"What?"

"I'm going to let you back into the main area and we can talk about it; reach an agreement."

Owen didn't respond and Gwen nodded to Ianto to open the door to let Owen back in.

Mere seconds passed before the sirens sounded and the huge cog door rolled open.

"Alright." Owen declared. "What's the compromise."

The door closed behind Owen and Gwen shot a look at Jack, who at once knew what to do. Owen didn't miss it.

"Hold on..." Owen was cottoning on. "Where's that Doctor bloke? And Martha? And the Red Head?"

Gwen slowly nodded, and Jack brought out the small sphere from his pocket.

"No. Oh no! You said COMPROMISE!" Owen yelled. "Not this!"

"Owen..."

"Shut it tea-boy!" Owen spun around and ran towards the cog door, banging on its hard metal surface. "I don't want to be dead again!"

"I'm sorry, Owen." Jack muttered before lobbing the sphere into the air.

Owen watched as, almost in slow motion, the sphere fell back down to the ground. He fell to his knees, knowing there was no hope left. Knowing that he would be dead again any minute.

"NO!" Owen heard Gwen's voice screaming and knew it was him.

Like before, blue smoke filled the room as the sphere was broken. And one by one everyone fell into unconsciousness.

The last thing Owen remembered was his feeble attempt to stay conscious, as he watched the smoke engulf him.


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: **Still not mine... I'll have to try harder, if I want them to be. :)

_I'd just like to say a big thank you to everyone who has reviewed this! What started as one small chapter about swapping bodies, has now grown into one with over 100 reviews! So thank you to everyone! It means so much to me, and you have all given such nice reviews! :)_

_So, please enjoy the... third (?) last chapter. _

* * *

Chapter Sixteen:

The TARDIS let off a high-pitched, loud beep, causing Martha to jump up off the Captain's Chair in shock.

"What's that mean, then?" Donna asked, looking at the monitor over the Doctor's shoulder.

"It means the atmosphere in the Hub is safe to breathe again." The Doctor replied.

"So that gas has cleared then?" Martha confirmed.

"Yup." the Doctor replied, putting a grin on his face and almost skipping over to open the TARDIS door.

Donna and Martha followed behind him, somewhat slower and more cautiously.

"Come on." The Doctor gestured.

"Do you think they're back in their own bodies?" Martha wondered out loud.

"Difficult to say." The Doctor replied. "We'll have to wait until they regain consciousness."

"Well, in the meantime, let's at least make them comfortable." Martha suggested, before shooting a glare at the Doctor who had just flopped down on the Torchwood sofa. He either missed her look or was completely ignoring it.

"Yeah, lying on this cold metal floor can't be good for you." Donna agreed, moving over to help Martha move Gwen's body first.

"You know, something tells me Owen isn't going to be happy to be back in his own body." Donna suddenly stated.

"You can't exactly blame him." Martha replied evenly.

"Yeah. How do you reckon he's going to react?"

"Knowing Owen. Badly." Martha answered. "It'll take a while for him to cool off."

"I kinda got that impression." Donna muttered. "Oi! Spaceman! Get off the couch. I think unconscious humans take first priority here." She added, brashly.

The Doctor leaped off the sofa with surprising grace and allowed Martha and Donna to lay Gwen's body on it. It took the TimeLord two seconds before he was one again seated comfortably; this time on Tosh's work chair.

Donna rolled her eyes.

* * * * *

Ianto was the first to wake up. He instantly felt like he was back home again. After a brief physical check he was sure of it and the Welshman let out a sigh of relief.

He was back in his own body.

Opening his eyes, Ianto took in his surroundings. He was quite comfortable lying on the floor of the Hub and realised it was because he was placed on one of the mattresses from the previous night.

Hoping the remainder of his colleagues would be back in their own bodies, Ianto propped himself up into a sitting position and was immediately surrounded by Martha, Donna and the Doctor.

"Ianto?" Martha asked slowly, afraid that it may not be him.

"Yes?" he replied innocently, enjoying the looks which passed across their three faces.

"So you're back in your own body?" Donna asked.

"It would seem so." He grinned; glad to be back where he belonged.

"Any side effects?" the Doctor asked, pulling out his sonic screwdriver and scanning him.

"None that I know of." Ianto replied calmly.

"Good." the Doctor replied. "And in that case, could you make us a cuppa?"

"Doctor!" Donna cut in, before Ianto could reply. "That's rude! He's just woken up and you want him to make you a cup of tea?"

"Well he said he was feeling ok."

"That's not the point!"

"I don't mind, really." Ianto muttered quietly, once Donna and the Doctor had reduce their argument to simple glares. "It's my job and I'm used to it."

"You sure?" Martha asked, despite wanting a cup of tea herself.

"Absolutely." Ianto replied with a smile. "Now, shall it be English Breakfast or Earl Grey?"

* * * * *

Five minutes later, Ianto, Donna, Martha and the Doctor were all gathered around the boardroom table drinking tea and waiting for the others to wake up.

A delighted squeal, notified everyone of Tosh's regaining of consciousness and Ianto automatically got up to brew her a cup of coffee.

"Ianto!" She whispered excitedly, when he emerged from the boardroom. "Is that you in your body?"

Ianto smiled. "Yup."

Tosh grinned back and ran over to give him a hug. Ianto laughed, "I'm guessing you're back in your own body?"

"Yes!" Tosh said, still grinning.

Ianto breathed another sigh of relief. So far the anti Body Swap had got two right. He hoped it could get three more right too.

"Thank you for looking after my body." Ianto said a few seconds later, once Tosh had released him.

"No problem." Tosh replied. "Although using the bathroom was tricky, not to mention embarrassing."

"Well, I'm honoured that you used a blindfold. I don't think Jack or Owen would have bothered." Ianto replied with a small smile.

"How do you know...?" Tosh trailed off, frowning at Ianto.

"I can read the surface memories of what happened in my body, when I was out of it so to speak." Ianto replied. "I'm guessing you can do the same."

"Ah, well that makes sense." Tosh nodded, before her face fell. "Gwen!" Tosh looked shocked.

"What did she do?" Ianto guessed she was looking back through the memories.

"She..." Tosh lowered her voice, "...uh...sized me up." Ianto frowned in response and Tosh gestured to her breasts.

"Oh." Ianto said, before letting out a laugh. "Sorry." he added moments later when he caught the look on Tosh's face.

Tosh gave him a mock glare, before letting off a giggle herself.

"The others are in the boardroom." Ianto said, pointing. "Go on, I'll make you some coffee."

"Thanks, Ianto."

The coffee had just been poured into Tosh's favourite mug, when Ianto was startled by the sound of anguished cries and groans. Owen was awake and it would seem, back in his own body. His dead body.

Ianto muttered a curse in Welsh when he heard the sirens on the cog door blaring.

"Owen!" Ianto dashed out of the small kitchenette to see Tosh attempting to stop the medic.

"Piss off, Tosh!" Owen replied angrily.

"Leave him." Ianto suggested, as the cog door fully opened and Owen dashed out.

"Oh, Ianto." Tosh said, sadly. "What are we going to do with him?"

Ianto placed his hand on her shoulder in comfort. "There is little we can do for him."

"He'll come round. Just let him cool off. Although, he is quite upset." An American drawl came from behind them.

"Jack!" Ianto spun around, almost forgetting Tosh, and smiled.

"Is it you?" Tosh asked, having turned around to face Jack, too.

"Of course!" Jack replied, flashing his trademark grin. The Captain would have added another comment, but all air was knocked out of him, as Ianto drew him into a very tight hug.

Jack saw a glimpse of Tosh's approving, smiling face before his buried his own in Ianto's warm, comforting neck.

"I'm glad you're back." Ianto muttered.

"Me too." Jack agreed. He then lifted his head up and silently pressed his lips to Ianto's. God, he had missed his kiss.

There was a cough behind them, and the pair broke apart to see not only Tosh, but Gwen as well, watching them. Ianto, typically, blushed.

"I'll be making some coffee for everyone." The Welshman declared. "The others are still in the boardroom."

Ianto went back to his coffee making, while Tosh, Gwen and Jack made their way to the boardroom.

Ianto let out a content sigh. Everything seemed back to normal. Everyone was back in their own bodies, whether they liked it or not and Ianto was back to making coffee.

It was at the moment that Jack shouted.

"IANTO!"


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: **Unfortunely, none of the characters below belong to me. :(

_Second last chapter, everyone! It's a bit all over the place, I think. I hope you still all like._

_Only an epilogue to go. Thank you again to everyone who has reviewed. I am forever grateful to you all! :) _

_Please enjoy._

* * *

Chapter Seventeen:

Ianto ran, at what felt like lightening speed, to the boardroom. Millions of questions flashing up in his head. What happened? Was Jack ok? Was someone experience side-effects? Ianto began to panic.

"Jack?" He questioned, breathless as he came to a halt in the boardroom's doorway. "What is it?" He was still greatly concerned, despite nobody looking in trouble.

"How many times have I told you?! Measuring tapes never lie." Jack replied, grinning.

"Oh." Ianto blushed. Jack had obviously been going through the memories.

Tosh sniggered and Gwen leaned over and whispered something in Donna's ear. Ianto suspected she was explaining Jack's comment. Great, just what he needed.

"And there is no point in comparing unless you convert inches into centimetres, first."

"Of course." Ianto muttered, his blush deepening. "I'll just go get that coffee."

Ianto left the room, desperately wishing he would just dissolve into the floor.

He could still hear their giggles following him. Well everyone's except the Doctor's, who sat there sipping his tea, completely oblivious to anything they were talking about.

Ianto was glad it had all gone over his head.

Back in the kitchenette, Ianto made everyone a cup of coffee, including himself. He then waited a few minutes until he was sure the topic of measuring tapes had subsided.

"So what are you guys going to do with Owen?" Donna was asking, when Ianto re-entered the boardroom.

"There isn't much we can do." Jack admitted. "Thanks, Yan." He added as the Welshman placed a cup of his favourite brew down in front of him.

"He looked pretty annoyed." Donna commented.

"You'd be annoyed, too, if you had to go back to living in a dead body." The Doctor stated, resisting the urge to glare at Jack.

"I suppose so." Donna responded. "Isn't there anything you can do?"

Martha, Tosh and Gwen all shook their heads in reply.

"I mean, you guys scavenge alien artefacts." Donna went on. "Surely there is something out there that can change him back?"

"If there is, we haven't found it yet." Jack said, shaking his head.

Donna nodded and took a sip of her fresh coffee. They were all silent as they thought of Owen; as they pitied him.

"Well, I think we'd best be off!" the Doctor suddenly said, rousing everyone from their thoughts.

"So soon?" Jack asked.

"You know how it is, Jack." the Doctor grinned at him, "So many planets, so little time."

"Not for you. You have all the time in the world." Jack pointed out.

"But it's never enough for some." The Doctor replied, his face turning sullen. "Not everyone has forever."

Jack nodded in understanding.

"Come on then!" Donna exclaimed, draining the last of her coffee. "Where are we off to next?"

The Doctor blinked once, before grinning again. "Where ever you want, Donna Noble."

A few minutes later and they were all gathered around the TARDIS, saying their farewells.

Ianto held out his hand and the Doctor took it. "Nice to meet you Ianto Jones. I'm glad someone is looking after Jack. He needs it."

"I know." Ianto replied. "It was a pleasure to meet you too, Doctor. And thank you!"

"No problem." The Doctor then turned away and smiled at Donna giving hugs left, right and centre to anyone in her reach.

Before he could tell her to hurry up, the Doctor was pulled into his own hug by Jack. The TimeLord hugged back.

"Are you sure you don't want to come, Jack?" the Doctor offered, once he had been released.

"I'm sure."

"You could bring Ianto with you." He suggested further, raising an eyebrow.

"Sorry, Doc. Someone has to stay behind and look after this place." He grinned.

"Another time, perhaps. There is always that pleasure planet…" he trailed off.

Jack shook his head. "Maybe in the distant future. But for now, I'm staying here."

The Doctor nodded in understanding. Jack had found his own Rose Tyler in the form of Ianto the Welsh tea-boy. He only wondered how long they would have together. How long Jack would have until everyone he loved passed on.

"Well, I'm done!" Donna announced, from beside the Doctor.

"Ok." The Doctor smiled. "Well it was a pleasure to meet you all and please send my regards to Owen. I hope he comes round soon."

Gwen and Tosh gave small waves, which the Doctor gladly returned.

"Until next time, Martha. Jack." the Doctor nodded before disappearing inside the TARDIS.

Donna gave another small wave. "Hope we'll see each other again someday." She said, before following the Doctor.

"You'll wanna see this." Jack said, as Gwen began to turn away.

The TARDIS light began to flash and what had once been described as the sound of the universe filled the Hub.

As they all knew it would, the TARDIS slowly began to fade, followed by the sound of its engines. The Torchwood team, minus Owen and plus Martha watched until the sound of silence once again took over.

"Well, I'm going to phone Rhys." Gwen declared. "I haven't told him the good news yet." She walked off, not waiting for a reply, taking out her mobile as she went.

Jack nodded, somewhat numbly, still staring at the space where the TARDIS had once been.

"Jack?" Ianto's voice questioned, and he weaved his fingers through the Captains.

"Yeah... coming." Jack sounded distracted. But Ianto knew it to be a simple longing of being back amongst the stars with the only person he could relate to. He decided not to question it. Jack had explained everything a while back, so he understood.

"We'll now that everything is back to normal; I'd better get to work on that newer, faster translator program." Tosh announced.

"No, go home, Tosh." Jack said, turning around and smiling at her. "You deserve a rest after the past few days."

"But..."

"Don't worry, Ianto and I will stay here. We'll alert you if anything happens."

Tosh nodded and ran off to get her gear, leaving through the cog door after waving her thanks to Jack and Ianto.

"I have a feeling she won't be going straight home." Jack said, smiling.

"Me too." Ianto agreed. "I hope she can make him better, though."

"If Tosh can't, then nobody can, I'm afraid."

"We'll I'm off!" Gwen suddenly appeared, "Rhys is taking me out to celebrate. Unless you need me here." she looked slightly horrified at the idea.

"Nope. You go and have a good time." Jack said.

"Thanks." she breathed, already making her way out.

"Bye!" Martha smiled.

"Have a nice dinner." Ianto said with a wave.

"Will do!" Gwen yelled, giving a small wave as the cog door closed.

"I think I'd better go, too." Martha said, after a quick glance between Jack and Ianto.

"Sure." Jack said easily. "I'll see you tomorrow, before you fly back to the States."

"Will do." Martha replied, before almost running out the door, not wanting to be the awkward one with Jack and Ianto there.

"And then there were two." Ianto said, turning towards his Captain and smiling when the cog door closed for the final time.

Jack grinned back and leaned down to press his lips against his lover's.


	18. Chapter 18 Epilogue

**Disclaimer: **The below character are property of RTD and the BBC. I have only borrowed them.

_The last chapter is below! Wow! I cannot believe it's finished. Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed! This chapter is for you guys! :)_

_So please... enjoy! _

* * *

Chapter Eighteen

_A Cardiff Restaurant_

Gwen looked across at her Husband to be and smiled.

"And then he tried to rip me off on the haulage fee. And I told him… what?" Rhys questioned Gwen, who was simply smiling at him.

"Nothing, love." Gwen replied, turning her attention to the plate of food in front of her. "I'm just glad to be with you."

"It's been like 3 days!" Rhys exclaimed, before muttering. "Bloody Torchwood."

"It's not Torchwood's fault." Gwen countered.

"Yeah… I'm glad you're back, Gwen." Rhys smiled.

"Me too." Gwen smiled back.

"And all thanks to this Doctor bloke." Rhys sighed. "Still, at least it wasn't Jack this time. It's good to know he can't fix everything. Not as good as he makes out, aye."

"Rhys!" Gwen said, pretending to be shocked.

Rhys laughed. "Come here, gorgeous!"

Simultaneously they both leaned across the table and kissed.

Everything was back to normal.

* * * * *

_In the Hub - Jack's Bedroom_

Ianto sighed happily and looked up into his lover's eyes, feeling completely safe and content in his arm, together, in his bed.

"Hey, you." Jack said, with a grin.

Ianto smiled back and was reminded of the conversation earlier that day. "Did you mean what you said about staying here with those you…" he paused slightly, "…love?"

"Of course I did, Ianto!" Jack replied earnestly, propping himself up on one elbow.

Ianto frowned, "But you said love."

Jack sighed, of course, Ianto was right. He had said love. He should have known Ianto wouldn't forget his saying it. The one word he had sworn to himself he would never use, because it would cause too much pain for both. The one word (accompanied by two others), Ianto had told him many times, yet he had never said back.

"You're right, I did say love."

"I didn't think…It's just…" Ianto mumbled, not really knowing what to say.

"Ianto." Jack began, knowing his lover deserved to hear the words he longed to hear. "I love you."

Ianto's eyes widened in shock. "But…" he paused and decided to give a much easier reply. "I love you too, Jack."

"I know, Yan. I know." Jack replied.

Ianto's face broke into a smile and he leaned forward to kiss Jack. Deep down, the Welshman knew that Jack would never say those three words to him again. And deep down, Jack knew that he could never repeat them again.

But once was enough. They both knew they loved each. That would always be enough.

And with all further thoughts of saying those three words gone, the night dissolved into one filled with heated passion and desire.

* * * * *

_Owen's Flat_

The doorbell rang and roused Owen from his thoughts. Slowly he got up and went to open the door.

"Hey, Owen!" Tosh's voice was cheerful. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah, sure Tosh." Owen replied morosely, stepping back to let her in.

A few moments later, and the pair were seated on Owen's couch.

"Let me guess, you're here to make me feel better about all this?" Owen said. It was more a statement than a question.

"Nah, I'm here to make you feel really horrible about it all." Tosh said her voice thick in sarcasm.

Owen laughed. A good sign. "I think you'd better leave the sarcastic comments to me, Tosh."

"That's probably a good idea." Tosh admitted, with a grin.

They sat in a comfortable silence before Tosh had the courage to speak again.

"You know, I'm glad you're back like this."

"You prefer me dead. Thanks Tosh. That means a lot."

"No, I mean I'm glad you're back in your own body."

"My dead body?" Owen raised his eyebrows.

"No. I said you're body, Owen. It's what makes you, you. You wouldn't be the same if you were in another body. You know that, Owen."

"Yeah…" he trailed off and Tosh didn't press him to continue. "I just miss being… alive. I didn't want this to happen. None of this was meant to happen."

"Lots of things happen, which we hadn't planned on. But what would be the fun of it all if we knew how everything would turn out?"

"I suppose you're right." Owen replied, causing Tosh to blink in surprise. She had expected more of a fight.

"Thanks Tosh." He said, smiling genuinely at her.

"No problem, Owen." She smiled back and blushed when the medic kissed her on the cheek.

* * * * *

_The TARDIS Console Room_

"Ah," the doctor said satisfied. "All filled up and rearing to go!"

Donna smiled as she watched the TimeLord skip around the console pressing a button here, twiddling a knob there.

"So where to next?" Donna asked.

"I was thinking Felspoon. They have mountains which sway in the breeze. Mountains that move. Can you believe that?" his eyes were wide with excitement.

"Sounds great." Donna smiled. The Doctor's enthusiasm was contagious.

Donna got up from the captain's chair to lean against the console, which would be much easier to hold onto if the ride got bumpy (which it nearly always did).

"Oi, what's this sphere?" she asked picking up a small round sphere like object.

"Donna, I'm trying to fly this frankly magnificent machine of mine and you're asking me about object I cannot see."

"Ok, ok. Keep your hair on Spaceman!" Dona replied, rolling her eyes and placing the sphere back in the console.

Approximately three second's later; the sphere was knocked from the console, as the TARDIS landed roughly.

It smashed and the console room filled with blue smoke.

"Oh." The Doctor said, drowsily. "That sphere."

**The End!**


End file.
